Tag: childhood cancer survivor

relapsed

I want to help. I want to change. I want to heal. I am selfish most of the time. Most of the time I hurt just for me. For us. For our loss. For our pain. ..but Unravel. We didn’t name it after Jennifer. We didn’t make it specifically a DIPG or even brain tumor research foundation. (although we certainly fund it) I have always known why. Always known it was because its bigger and more than just her. But today sitting outside of Starbucks is when my heart absorbed the reason. His name is Juan David. Just two and a half. Infant ALL. .. oh well ALL thats a “good one” right? Thats a easy one right? Well as sweet Elayna taught us there is no such thing as easy or good. The treatments are always brutal.. And infant ALL.. is actually not good. The percentages aren’t in their[…]

cancer survivor day

Cancer survival day. 2 years ago I didn’t even know something like this existed.. and if I did it was simply a blip in my day. Not a grinding and scratching reminder of what Jennifer is not. I thought it would just be one day staring me in the face. I was wrong. There is build up.. Its truly a wonderful thing to celebrate. .. I am just so horribly jealous that I can’t be part of it. I’m long over lamenting being part of the cancer community as a whole, I have met some of the greatest people in my life through it..  But I hate that I am, that we are,  the losers. A tumor in just a slightly different place in her brain.. it could have been the difference between life and death. . It certainly would have been at least a chance. With my 6 yr[…]