Christmas is almost here. A day I counted down to and used to love. Even more after having children then I did even as a child. It was pure magic to get to experience it with them.. I’ve lost that. I’m sad. I miss my daughter. I look at her stocking and hate that I […]
Why? Why? oh jennifer. i just want to hold you. i wonder what you would be like this Thanksgiving. I wanted to write a positive post. One about how all the many things I am grateful for. My living children. My reason for working for hard for Unravel. Because I need to try to keep […]
Her birthday. The second one we have endured since losing her. The anniversary of her terminal diagnosis. DIPG. The same day and the second we have faced without her. A un-party. We escaped with the kids. It seems to be the only way I can even begin to imagine facing these huge milestones. To the […]
I woke up this morning and the ache… the hole in my heart and my life was palpable. I have cried often I have cried hard today. My boys and I painted rocks with nail polish to take to her. They seem to have a want and a need to go daily right now. And […]
This morning I was driving to the gym. I crossed over the intersection I turned on daily to take Jennifer to school. It hit me.. in just a little bit I will be making that drive again… this time for Jonathan. And it was like a jolted me. This time I have left with all […]
I am still me.. but never ever really the same. I went to a MOPS group this morning. I was at a table with some ladies I knew.. and some I didn’t. ok cool. It started with a ice breaker.. we just took turns sharing a little bit about ourselves. nailed it. Then the video came on. The […]
All these things I am being forced to walk through. Nothing feels real right now. Its like my body.. my heart.. my soul cannot accept that she is gone.. that I have to do this. These holidays. Something in me snapped on Friday. Broke apart. And I cried off and on all day. […]
Theres that popular kids book everybody poops.. I think I should write one called everybody grieves. Because this weekend that has been so apparent in my family. The ways we are all hurting. .. and all reaching for Jennifer, trying to connect. Waking up to my husbands tears.. knowing immediately why.. Not even for a […]
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