Tag: camping

s’more…s’mores

Jennifer loved camping. I am so glad we went when we did. We really thought about canceling. Because it was the month before I was due with our 4th.. and well after all we could always do it later. As it turned out no we couldn’t since she would be diagnosed and killed by cancer 10 months after that trip. I will forever be grateful we took that trip. This past weekend we went again. We also went last year. But I was numb still I think. The finality of her death simply had not sunk in yet. This year though. .. it was very real. I kept wanting to think of ways to cancel the trip. Because I just simply didn’t want to go without her. Nicholas asked if we could take a rock to sissy before we went. So while Tony and Jonathan packed the car we went[…]

camping

Sometimes the empty is so consuming, sometimes the reality that she is gone slaps me. Sometimes my ache for her is more subtle.. and another persons wound more crucial to attend to. This weekend was a bit of both. We went camping… without her… well without all of her. I had the keepsake of her remains with me. We stayed at the same place with the same people we went with last year. Because it was supposed to be a yearly tradtion.. it mattered a lot to Jennifer then and now to Tony. We really believed we would get one more trip in.. I was 8 months pregnant then, we almost didn’t go because of that, figured we could go this year. I am so thankful we went since so much changed in such a short amount of time. As we were checking in we got a flier for a[…]