Why? Why? oh jennifer. i just want to hold you. i wonder what you would be like this Thanksgiving. I wanted to write a positive post. One about how all the many things I am grateful for. My living children. My reason for working for hard for Unravel. Because I need to try to keep […]
I am exhausted. In counseling we talked about how I have simply felt too busy to grieve. Then I am so scared to allow myself to go there… because it will consume me.. And I worry I won’t recover from it well enough to get the things done that I need to. I love being […]
I am not alone. It’s a big piece of why I still share this blog. Its harder to do now. I feel so much more drained when I write. So much more exposed now .. But I share because of the notes I get from others in my shoes or from those loving somebody else that […]
Its a grind for us all right now. Just passing our 2 year anniversary of her diagnosis and birthday. Its like the start of our really hard time. And frankly we just really don’t want to do it. I am mad. I am angry. I have done this all before and I just don’t want […]
Her birthday is coming. .. She should be 8. This should be a celebration. She loved her birthday. I loved her birthday. But now I am dreading it. Terribly. No balloons to blow up.. no birthday chair to decorate.. no candles to blow out. . No presents. No joy. No happy.. But she deserves more […]
I often talk about the good parts of me that Jennifer missed out on. The ways I have changed to be a better parent that she so deserved. . I have talked how my surviving kids have a different mommy. One that cries.. not everyday anymore.. but at times when a mommy isn’t supposed to […]
The only time I am not crying is when I am with other people. .. With Tony and the kids though I cannot seem to stop the tears. Everything is reminding me of her.. everything is ripping into the wound I keep waiting to start healing. right now I don’t think it ever will. right […]
I am thinking about the fluttering fundraiser a lot lately. Read about it here. I am feel like its such a perfect representation of what we want Unravel to do/be. It raises awareness and funds and its something kids can help with. My personal goal is to do it 25 out of 30 days.. I […]
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