Tag: 8 year old sibling loss

find me again..

Sometimes we resist what we know.. this blog is really just a continuation of this one.. And sometimes urges and pushes are so strong we cannot ignore them.. I pulled the boys out of school and took them on a mommy and boys date to the movies. Coco. None of us had seen it… it was only in one theatre 40 mins away.. But I had this strong urge.. we were meant to go. The 3 of us had the entire place to ourselves. It wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be.. Until the final scene.. when my deepest hope for what its like for me and Jennifer now was on screen. The movie ended and we left the theatre and went on the hunt for something to eat at the mall.. We talked as we walked .. in the best boy talking way.. moving and not[…]

muscle memory

They call it muscle memory.. mus·cle mem·o·ry noun 1. the ability to reproduce a particular movement without conscious thought, acquired as a result of frequent repetition of that movement. Yup. Both boys are struggling. Jonathan started first. His teacher came out and spoke to me after school.. He was getting in trouble at home.. Nothing major just acting out. .. and needy. Nothing seems to be enough for him. My first thought was Jennifer.. Because I knew the time was coming. .. But I do not ever want to force grief upon them.. or excuse poor behavior because their sister died. So we looked.. we tried to find other reasons.. and actually thought we had.. ..but the behavior continued. Then Nicholas’ teacher asked to speak with me.. Worried about him. He was pulling inward.. not acting like himself.. oh sweet boy Still. I didn’t want to immediately think it was[…]