Yes. Yes. Yes. I am eternally grateful for the yeses. And eternally sorry for the no’s. A year ago we did a last minute tea party. At a fancy tea party place. We had a lot at our little apartment together. It was certainly a daily ritual and one of my most cherished memories. She […]
We saw Santa. It was anti climatic. Which was a good thing actually since so much.. so much has been so big lately. Only Jonathan even sat on his lap. It was easier .. not so vividly missing her since the photographs I took were missing most of my kids. But a friend and I […]
Friday was another 12th. Marking 10 months since I held my daughter last. I have promised myself that I will spend every 12th doing something for them because of her. This month for the first time the “them” wasn’t my 3 surviving kids.. I did it with my kids.. but did it for the kids still […]
JENNIFER JENNIFER JENNIFER jennifer.. I miss you. With every single cell of my body right now. I knew my heart would break when you left. I didn’t know it was even possible for my whole body to break.. for my heart to be so shattered .. for my soul to cry out for you. […]
Tony and I went to our counseling tonight. .. well if I am being honest, tonight Tony sat on the couch during my counseling. It quickly morphed into being all about me tonight. We talked guilt. My guilt over everything. e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. Its crippling. And I am not sure how to get over it.. get through […]
Words have power they have meaning. They can bring me to the depths of my pain. Thats good. But they can also help me .. and my kids.. find new ways to bring us above it. I spoke with another bereaved Dad. One who focuses on bringing the joy to kids with cancer. He shared […]
Last week we took members of the Unravel team to go tour some of the labs at Stanford. To learn about the work they are doing and who we may want to fund in the future. I planned on writing all about it. but as things do in this new life of mine.. I was taken […]
There are so many different kinds of parades .. some we sit through and watch.. some we march in and some we shut our windows and close our curtains to try and drown out the noise. Last year today we were coming down from such a high. A never even dreamt of, dream come true, […]
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