This time last year Tony and I were on the best trip of our lives. A trip to surprise trip to Disneyland with just Jennfier and baby Charlotte. She was 7 months old so totally easy and flexible. The trip was all about Jennifer, what she wanted to do and when she wanted to do […]
Time is divided into B.C and A.D times. Yup that pretty much sums it up. Before cancer and after death. This is our first Christmas in this new era. Two down.. one to go. This afternoon we head to my parents for our final Christmas “celebration.” I used to love this time of year. Looked […]
We did end up all going to the family baggo tournament at the same place we had our “goodbye to Jennifer party”. Not a easy decision since at first Jonathan said no.. we followed up with him and he still said no. But once he knew Daddy and Nicholas were going he waffled on it. […]
All these things I am being forced to walk through. Nothing feels real right now. Its like my body.. my heart.. my soul cannot accept that she is gone.. that I have to do this. These holidays. Something in me snapped on Friday. Broke apart. And I cried off and on all day. […]
JENNIFER JENNIFER JENNIFER jennifer.. I miss you. With every single cell of my body right now. I knew my heart would break when you left. I didn’t know it was even possible for my whole body to break.. for my heart to be so shattered .. for my soul to cry out for you. […]
Words have power they have meaning. They can bring me to the depths of my pain. Thats good. But they can also help me .. and my kids.. find new ways to bring us above it. I spoke with another bereaved Dad. One who focuses on bringing the joy to kids with cancer. He shared […]
Our home is decorated and Christmas season is officially here with the start of December. We decorated inside and outside this weekend. I wanted one more outdoor decoration and told the kids to look for one when they went out tree shopping with my parents. They came back knowing exactly what they wanted. A angel. […]
Theres that popular kids book everybody poops.. I think I should write one called everybody grieves. Because this weekend that has been so apparent in my family. The ways we are all hurting. .. and all reaching for Jennifer, trying to connect. Waking up to my husbands tears.. knowing immediately why.. Not even for a […]
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