Category: Flutter

what doesn’t kill you..

I went for a run this morning with my 2 littles while Jonathan was in preschool.. and while Jennifer.. well we all know where she is but somehow I still feel like I need to mention her. I was thinking about the broadcast that was on about Unravel and all the people fluttering last night. You can watch and read it here..its a different post than the original and explains fluttering really well!  I am not usually publicly emotional .. and it showed me crying not once but twice..  I was feeling very vulnerable. And then this song came on “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” And I thought oh the irony.. She couldn’t have possibly been any stronger.. But maybe that’s not the point of this song playing in my ears. .. Maybe its me? Because although cancer has destroyed so much of me.. it did not take all of me.[…]

Love4jlk

I can’t believe its already September. I can’t believe a year ago I didn’t even know this month was pediatric cancer awareness month. Seriously I look back and it seems just unreal to me that I had no idea about the things that are so ingrained in me now I can’t imagine not knowing.. not living it.. or surviving it as the case may be. A year ago .. we were just a regular family of 6.. A year ago cancer was a word I rarely said.. now I say it multiple times everyday. I should count once how often I say it. A year ago I had no idea my time as her Mama was about to end.. Jennifer.. sweet baby girl of mine. Shhhhh… its fluttering time! Here is what it looked like in our home. The boys were so excited to come out from quiet time to[…]

Fluttering and Flittering

Flutter squad scroll down to see some tips and reminders for you!I f you didn’t have the opportunity to order a fluttering kit we have something for you!! If you want to make it like a ice bucket challenge or use glitter or suck a lemon or anything you can think of go for it. Our hope is simply that you can share the facts.. I am so excited to be the one to introduce. flutter + glitter = flitter! You can do it online, tag 7 people a day! You can create a flitter causevox page and ask for $7 donation. We have something you can print and flitter people in your office or kids classroom or even just standing in line at the grocery store. You can do it once or everyday for the month of September. We want it to be a way to get everybody that[…]

warrior

Warrior. Warrior mom. Warrior child. It’s a badge given to cancer families in this world I am slowly becoming accustomed to. It has always felt uncomfortable.. awkward for me… I wasn’t sure why. . I just have always known Jennifer wasn’t a a warrior. She was a barely 6 yr old girl who loved to hide from her Daddy when he came home from work and then jump out to surprise him…a little girl who snored like a grown man but always denied it was her. A brown eyed beauty who truly believed in the magic of a princess.    I don’t think any of our DIPG kids are warriors really.. .I think they are more like sitting ducks. Being picked off one by one. I am angry. I wrote awhile ago how it wasn’t a fair fight for her. And I realized this feeling is just an extension of[…]

deserve

I am sitting down with plans to write about our fluttering awareness/fundraiser.. but I can’t.. there are some other things that are weighting me down.. S0 I will do what I do.. I will write and see where my fingers take me.. I am changed now.. I literally feel differently now since it hit me that she has cancer. Writing this post. literally changed me .  It took over 8 months for it to truly hit me.. and it has just deepened my resolve to want to do something.  Its just a terrible feeling I am struggling with right now.. I just miss her. And I want to make her death count for something and I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to reach people.. how to make us/her and most importantly the facts get out there. I just want to make it so kids stop dying from this[…]

Flutter

This idea came to me at my sister’s house. She had a neighbor whose house had been “flocked” with all of those pink flamingos on the front lawn. I thought what a great concept to raise awareness for pediatric cancer … Then it happened to me and I found out it could also be utilized as a fundraiser. I am proud to introduce… FLUTTERING Dragonflies live relatively short lives but live it to the fullest.. making an impression wherever they go. Jennifer’s nursery as a baby was decorated in dragonflies and they have always been our symbol for her. They seem to zoom all around until they are over the water, one of Jennifer’s favorite places to be.. they hover there.. wings fluttering.. You can’t help but stop and look at them. We are hoping you are able to help some dragonflies flutter in the month of september to make a lasting impression. For a $25.00 donation, we will send you a fluttering kit, but your time[…]