I woke up this morning feeling like a weight was on my chest. Heavy and full and weighted down with missing her. We were out late the night before and Charlotte really struggled to sleep so I brought her into bed with us. I loved it but I never sleep as well when I have […]
Its pretty amazing how one moment can trigger one memory.. that then triggers a landslide of them. I was at the CVS pharmacy waiting to pick up my prescription. I moved to the side where the toy aisles are and I remembered being on a phone call there.. standing right in that very spot. So […]
I’ve been hoping to talk to another particular cancer mom for awhile now. She is somebody who also writes and I have been told since the beginning I should reach out to.. but it took me time to be ready for that. Then we decided we were open to another baby. I knew it was […]
Everyday brings something a little different for us. But it seems like every day is blanketed in sorrow.. like it blocks the sunshine from really penetrating. This weekend we took down most of the decorations out front of the house. Some of them were wrapped around the trees and bushes and for just a moment […]
Tomorrow is one year since her services. Tony is out with the guys tonight so I have spent the last 90 minutes watching the video of her services. Crying and laughing.. much like I did that day. I watched it ..I watched me .. I remembered how I felt. The pull from above. The strength […]
There is a story that goes along with our announcement. I had planned on.. wanted to write about it. But i sit down and I find my mind is already going to another place. .. Yesterday we announced our 5th child is due August 22nd. It was a happy day for us.. a joyous day. […]
A year later and nothing has changed. Again. Here I am . Without her. And today is so much harder than yesterday was. So. Much. Harder. I remember this day so vividly. I wouldn’t get out of bed. I think its the only day in my life I have done that. Tony and my sister […]
A year ago people woke up to this posting. .. This picture still makes me my hands and feet go dumb when I look at it. ..It makes the blood pound in my ears. .. Yesterday 7 children died from cancer. ….my child wasn’t one of them. Today 7 children will die from cancer. My daughter […]
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