**another one I waited to post, I had to clear it with Tony first** How can silence be so deafening? I came home from last Saturday nights fundraiser on a bit of a high to a husband that was really hurting .. really struggling. Missing his daughter. His first case of love at first site. Tony […]
I feel an invisible force on my foot.. trying to push it down.. put the brakes on this life.. Just make it all stop. . In 4 days I will have been a cancer mom for a whole year. In 4 days.. She will truly be forever 6.. because she won’t be here to turn 7. […]
You never know the lasts..I wrote about that before.. wondering if I would know the lasts as they came to pass.. I didn’t. Surprisingly I still don’t. I got mail for her. Jennifer Lynn Kranz. It was ironically enough from the first eye dr we saw.. the one that said we needed to take […]
** I wrote this last week .. but never actually shared it.. I can’t remember why now! ** I need to write.. I want to write but something keeps stopping me. Like I am just scared to let all that is bubbling inside of me out. This weekend was a lot. A lot. It […]
I feel like a wounded animal. I feel like I am slowly bleeding out. I remember being pregnant and dairy products with dates stamped on it past my due date.. how thrilling that was. Today I pulled out strong cheese for the kids and it was stamped with a date past the one year anniversary […]
Tonight I should be practicing for a speech I am giving tomorrow. I have only gone through it twice now.. But I can’t seem to do it. Im not sure why. If its something swirling inside of me.. waiting for me to write and get it out.. Or if its too hard to do. Too […]
*** I debated sharing this. I wrote it last week. Its just a snapshot. A time in the midst of my desperate sorrow I was able to write *** my heart. sometimes i wonder if i can take this. i miss her so much so incredibly much more than i ever thought possible. i cry […]
I used to love the Fall.. love when the seasons started to change and the weather got a little crisper.. Loved it getting dark earlier.. I hate it. I hate all of it. Its just leading to horrible days.. ones that used to be so full of joy .. that I am terrified of having […]
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