I miss you Jennifer. I am hurting so much. Struggling with such a desperate suffering. It just keeps getting harder and harder. I don’t understand. When will there be some respite from all of this. Will it be like this til she is in my arms again? I just cannot believe its real. Sometimes it […]
Halloween. Another milestone met and past us. We changed it up. We did things totally different than we normally do and I think it helped some. I was moving and going and doing all day.. Actually I think thats my new thing. I am keeping myself so busy I don’t feel. But that also means […]
Sometimes I really struggle with this new life of mine.. not just the child loss portion of it.. but also the executive director of Unravel role I am in. I miss being a housewife..days filled with cooking and cleaning.. playdates and parks. Its all I ever wanted to be .. a wife and a mom. […]
Birthday done..check. Now halloween. I want to to just sleep through it. I want to avoid it completely. But I can’t, that wouldn’t be fair to my little 3. And then that makes me mad. I always did a good job appreciating the middle of the night wake ups and temper tantrums over not liking […]
I want to avoid writing. I want to avoid feeling. Last night we got together again with family to .. well just be together a year since Jennifer was diagnosed with a incurable form of cancer. .. DIPG. A cancer that is vicious and cruel and leaves no survivors. Waking up today I was .. […]
Happy birthday. That used to be a simple innocuous saying.. now such a loaded statement. I don’t know what to say.. A year ago I was just a mom.. then a little after noon I became a mom to child with a terminal brain tumor. Jennifer We should be blowing up balloons. We should […]
**another one I waited to post, I had to clear it with Tony first** How can silence be so deafening? I came home from last Saturday nights fundraiser on a bit of a high to a husband that was really hurting .. really struggling. Missing his daughter. His first case of love at first site. Tony […]
I feel an invisible force on my foot.. trying to push it down.. put the brakes on this life.. Just make it all stop. . In 4 days I will have been a cancer mom for a whole year. In 4 days.. She will truly be forever 6.. because she won’t be here to turn 7. […]
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