I was lucky enough to be invited to go to Seattle to speak at a fundraising event for Dr. Olsen. One of our best friends and a member of our board, Renee came with me. I was happy not to go alone! We arrived at noon and jumped right into business. But first we ate.. in […]
A cookie jar. Its just a fucking cookie jar. . but not really. Not anymore. No its so much more. Because she made it. .. we made it. Me and Jennifer we made it together. I remember thinking I knew then how special it would be and I remember thinking of all the other things […]
I feel like I should write.. like I want to write but the words won’t come to me.. neither will sleep it seems this week either. I still feel like I have so much to write I don’t want to forget.. about Seattle and our bereavement camp. But those memories seem so distant to me […]
I have been gone.. been out of touch for so long.. i feel like I should write about the trip to Seattle and our family trip to bereavement camp.. I will.. but I can’t. Right now there is literally nothing else inside of me right now except the incredible want for my daughter. This is […]
Its always so surprising.. what hits me like a sledgehammer.. Shows.. commercials…The way I compute basic information so different now.. This commercial was shared through social media. And it struck me down so hard. What a simple gift to just feel the touch of your child’s hand on your face. Would she know me still? I […]
The weather this morning was perfection for me.. It eases me. Overcast, cold, cloudy, chilly, gray. But I feel like if I stand outside.. especially if I run then I can somehow find her again. I find myself yearning for this weather.. longing for it .. Because when its here I feel like I can […]
Guilt. It is a nasty poisonous thing in this life of child loss. It pushes down the good memories .. it drowns out the happy sounds.. it chokes me making it a struggle to catch my breath. guilt. I made mistakes. Normal everyday mom mistakes with her. I yelled when I shouldn’t have. I overreacted.. […]
Death changes everything.. one thing I have really noticing rising the the surface lately though is perspective. The boys were sitting with Tony eating lunch mimicking him. That natural adoration little boys have for their Daddies.. how they watch the way they drink, eat, walk and dress and then try to do it the same […]
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