Jennifer loved camping. I am so glad we went when we did. We really thought about canceling. Because it was the month before I was due with our 4th.. and well after all we could always do it later.
As it turned out no we couldn’t since she would be diagnosed and killed by cancer 10 months after that trip.
I will forever be grateful we took that trip.
This past weekend we went again. We also went last year. But I was numb still I think. The finality of her death simply had not sunk in yet.
This year though. .. it was very real. I kept wanting to think of ways to cancel the trip. Because I just simply didn’t want to go without her.
Nicholas asked if we could take a rock to sissy before we went. So while Tony and Jonathan packed the car we went to go see her. And on the way I started crying. And couldn’t stop.
He told me I needed a hug from Dad and when he got home he marched right back to Tony and told him just that. he was right. ..
When we got the campsite our friends unloaded the car and then I unloaded wave after wave of pain. I didn’t want to be there without her. I didn’t want any of this to be true. I sat in the backseat of our minivan and held onto the headrest in front of my and just sobbed. Unhinged.
But as I now know it always is.. those tsunamis of grief are powerful. Destructive and short. They seem to clear everything in its path away..
allowing for new growth..
i miss you
….
get a s’mores ready for me.
..until there is a cure..
Looks like such a fun trip- I’m sure Jennifer was right there with all of you:)). LOVE4JLK always
All of your kids are beautiful, but that Charlotte is at a stage where all of her pictures are so cute! She is a doll.
What a wonderful family trip! I noticed an orb/circle in your family picture in the upper right-hand corner… Looks like Jennifer joined you! <3
Your kids are so beautiful.
Sending love.
Looks like a great trip! Your kids are so adorable !!!! Ms Libby looks to me your having a girl. Your pregnant photo shows your carrying high and thats usually a girl. When you carry low its a boy!!! True or false I have no clue. Its great you are still doing alot of the stuff you did with Jennifer . Her presence will always be there no matter what. She had so many people that loved her!!! Your family picture was adorable. You have a beautiful family!!!
For some reason, I really feel that Jennifer is with you in these pictures. I can tell how much she enjoyed camping, that’s for sure! Love the one of her in footy pajamas, rainboots and bunny ears! Best camping style ever. I’ve never been camping before, but your family photos make me want to! Goodness miss Charlotte is so cute! Especially love the one of you and her walking hand in hand. My favorite though has to be the one with her on Tony’s shoulders. So thankful for her…that Tony can still have a “Daddy’s Girl”. And yes, that pic of ya’ll totally counts as a “maternity picture” 🙂