5 weeks today. 5 weeks since I last touched you or felt your hand in mine… 5 weeks since I got to look in your eyes and feel them looking back in mine. That sums up how I felt today. I just missed her.. simply. totally. We decided to take the kids to a new […]
Music. Today was a day of music and songs. Both things important to Jennifer. She made up her own songs and she loved to sing along with ones we were listening to. We have been continuing the sticker charts for the boys. Even though last night wasn’t a stellar performance we took them out for breakfast […]
Words take on new meaning..thoughts can sometimes slap me in the face. Tony is out with a friend tonight. The boys are pretty much refusing to go to sleep. But now behaving well enough so I am blogging. A little bit ago though Nicholas was pushing it. My first thought was to jokingly text Tony […]
Today was a day of opposites. Of highs and lows. This morning I woke up. And missed her still. A continuation of the longing I felt last night. I strapped on my shoes and went for a run. It wasn’t a good run though. It was slow and hot .. As I ran I realized […]
I’m trying to follow that little voice inside my head a lot more lately. I would have used to call it my gut instinct… but now I attribute it to more than that. I had been finding little things that reminded me of one of Jennifer’s little friends…and her mom…We had. . well fallen apart […]
Fog. I feel like I am living in a fog .. Like is this all real? Sometimes it feels like I am looking at somebody else’s life..and so hard to admit “out loud” sometimes it even feels like its somebody else’s daughter. Like it cant really be that my daughter died. I don’t know how […]
I have mastitis and feel really horrible so I am not blogging tonight. But I did want to say so many people ask/comment that they aren’t sure if knowing strangers care and are reading helps… It does. I can’t adequately explain why…. But it does and thank you.
In the middle of the night 1 month ago… Last night was harder than today in most ways. I sobbed…body racking sobs. Going to bed I went to her room. I talked to her…and cried with her…But I decided to sleep in my own bed. Heavy sleep found me.. . Like my body just needed […]
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