questions

Is she winding down….???

Is it the meds????

We seriously have no idea. I think it must sound crazy that we care but we do.

Tonight we talked about if we have warning. What will we do…what do we want to do with Charlotte. And our boys.

I asked Tony how I am supposed to live again. Even the thought of driving my car seems totally overwhelming. And I want to drink so very much.

I’m not. I won’t but the desire is already so strong.

She gave me a ring maybe 7 months ago, before all of this and I fell in love with it then. I bought her a bag of jewelry at a garage sale. One ring she gave to me. It has 5 little decorative bumps in it. One for each of my loves.

Tony, Jennifer, Jonathan, Nicholas and Charlotte.

She would play with it all the time on my hand and make sure I was wearing it.  . .Sometimes she would ask for it back, only to give it to me all over again.

Its wearing thin. I am terrified it will break.

…cuz if it does so will I.

My friend took it today to see if there is anything that can be done for it. We found out its bronze. So I think the only option is to make a mold and make a new one.

But damnit I don’t want a fake one. I want the real one….

I am irrationally upset. But I think its because its just like this. I don’t want memories and pictures. I want the real thing. I want HER. Every day.

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I don’t want to be meeting her again. . . waiting. . . counting down the days. Far far too many days.

I want father daughter dances… and graduations and fights with her.

She is so small now. Moving her it feels like a skeleton. She is just bones covered tightly by skin. Except for her face. Maybe its her youth or the occasional steroid treatment but her face is still somewhat full and she still looks like Jennifer.

I am 5ft. I have small hands. They can fit around her bicep.

We cannot believe she is still here actually. How she can survive like this?

But she is. She isn’t ready quite yet.

And neither are we. But we want to do the best for her always. Its such a abnormal line to walk. ..

Whats the best way for her to die?

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90 Responses to “questions”

    1. I have been following your blog for awhile now. I can’t imagine myself doing half as good of a job as you have been/are doing. You and your family are truly amazing and I’m praying that you’ll find comfort and peace.

    2. Thinking of you daily. May the love of family, friend and strangers like myself hold you & your family close. I am so sorry…There are no words… <3 for JLK

    3. I read your blog every day, and every day I cry for you and your family. I would like to offer some help, but I have no idea what, if anything would be helpful. Just know that even though I do not know you, my prayers and strength are behind you fi you need them.

    4. Libby,
      Know that we are all here with you, my entire staff reads your blogs each day and we cry and talk about Jennifer and what your family is going through every day.
      So many people are with you, caring for you and your family. Feel our love and support and know you have done so much to bring attention to childhood cancer.

    5. I am praying for you and your family. When I read your blog today, I instantly thought of that company, Origami Owl? Do you know it? I have never bought anything from them but I was thinking of the ring. They basically sell these little glass lockets that you can put trinkets in. I’m sure that the ring would fit inside and you will always have it close to your heart. My heart goes out to you during this very difficult time…

    6. I have been following your blog. My heart is also in my throat as I read the agony in your words. As a mom, I can’t imagine the heart ache that you feel. I see that beautiful baby girl and I cry as I think of all the things she should be experiencing at her age. No child should have to suffer and no mom or parent should ever go thru this. I am praying for you and your family. God is able to give you peace and comfort thru this. I am believing for you and yours.

  1. My heart breaks as I read every day the things you have to endure. My prayers are always with Jennifer and your whole family. She is such a sweet girl that without knowing her personally, seeing her smile in pictures makes me wish that I did. It’s easier said than done but stay strong. My family prays for you and your family.

  2. I have a gold ring that I would be more than happy to send you. Melt it down and have it remolded around your bronze ring. Then you can always have the ring and the symbolism that Jennifer is the core of who you have been, who you are, and who you will still become. She will always, always, always be inside of you.

    I hate that you are all going through this but hate it especially for precious Jennifer right now. Oh, how I wish I could change things or fix things or say the right things. But I know that’s not possible, so I pray. And then I pray again. And again.

    Seriously — if you want a ring (or two) for the gold, please let me know. xox

    1. What a beautiful idea, Kristin (kekis), and you are soooo sweet to offer the gold ring (or two) for preserving such a treasure for JLK’s mother. Blessings to you for your offer! I wish I could have done that or something similar but I can only offer prayers, for which I do often. Blessings, Prayers and Hugs, to Jennifer and all of the love4JLK family and friends.

  3. Libby post a picture of the ring & we will find another one exactly the same there have to be more out there.
    Love you guys!

  4. Libby, Post a picture of the ring & we will find another one exactly the same there have to be more out there.
    Love you guys!

  5. I know it’s not the same as if she was really there. I pray everyday that she can that God will preform a miracle and heal her as if that tumor never existed. I know bit will be hard trying to move on without her. And I know it’s not the same but she will always be with u. She lives in your memory’s and your children’s. Honer those memory’s by thinking what would Jennifer do. I know it will be hard and the kids won’t understand where she is but be strong and just tell the the truth that she is with Jesus waiting and preparing a place for u and them. There will b hard days and that’s ok. But never give up and never forget. U said before she taught u how to b a mother she will live trough u.

  6. I just lost my sister in law to inoperable brain tumors. She was diagnosed this past November 13th and left us on January 20th. I have a sense of what you are going through but cannot even imagine if she were my child. I am so sorry for what you all are going through and pray for comfort and peace for Jennifer and your family. My heart breaks for you. I send you all my love. Xoxoxo

  7. I don’t have words, or the right words anyway, so I’ll just say I’m thinking about your family often. JLK is beautiful inside and out and her light shines through in your writing. My heart hurts for you so I can’t imagine how yours feels. I will continue sending so many positive thoughts to your sweet girl.

  8. I am so very sorry you are faced with these questions. If I could shoulder some of them, some of the pain, I would. You all remain constantly in my prayers and are never far from my thoughts. Sending love.

  9. I can’t even start to fathom what you are going through. All day and night thoughts creep into my mind of what if this was my little girl. And just the thought shatters me. I think of you all constantly. As you know Iost my brother while at RMA. What you may not know was that I was the last person to talk to him. I knew on that phone call that, that was it. My brother couldn’t talk he could simply try. It came out as mumbled sounds. So I told him everything he always wanted to hear, that I was ok, my friends were doing good etc, then I told him it was ok to go rest. I told him I would always love him and always miss him but it was ok. It was so very hard and I can’t imagine saying that to one of my children. But she may need to hear you say that it is ok and that you will be ok. Even though you will never be ok. I am never ok. That left me that day. I had to find a new ok. You will find a new ok. All of this may be the wrong thing to say but something keep telling me to say it.

    In regards to an above post I think melting the gold around the ring is a great idea. Have your friend photograph the ring in some close ups, pick your favorite, frame it and hang it in your home. Then cover it in gold and wear it.

  10. There is nothing I could possibly say that will make you feel better right now. Just know I am here…as so many others are…thinking about you, all the time, sending so very many thoughts/prayers/dust your way. You will break when she passes…there’s no way you won’t suffer as you are a mother and she is your baby…but we will all help put you together again. It will take time and you will always have cracks and broken parts but you will still be beautiful and amazing and so very special and needed in this world. We are all here for you, Libby. If there is anything you ever need…I’ll do anything to help you.

    Fuck. I am so so so sorry for you and your family.

  11. You ask how you can continue to live again and I think that when you are feeling the worst there is a simple answer:

    Be compassionate, especially for yourself. When you aren’t so tender and hurt try to extend that compassion to others.

    The simple act of being there for your remaining children can be a way to continue JLK’s love.

    Find simple ways to share compassion. Holding doors for people, buying some stranger’s coffee at Starbucks. That love will help JLK’s spirit continue here on earth.

    It’s a lot harder than it sounds, but I know you’ll find your way.

    Peace.

  12. Wow, I am just sitting here at my computer, absorbing all of your words. The parallels of my son’s life and death, and your daughters are so connected. I want you to know, from experience, that drinking won’t help. It just delays the inevitable. It will not change or alter the reality of what is happening. Once again, thanks for your story. Just hold her. Hang on to her as long as you can, and understand, she loves you and will try to spare you as much pain as she can. They just “know” how to do it. PLEASE GOD, be with this family.

  13. I am just sitting here in front of my computer, in shock and so so sad for you. It is uncanny how alike our stories are. Both mothers of children who have cancer. Both members of big football families of Catholic schools. Both of us so very broken and bewildered by the reality of an event of which we have no control. I will say one thing to you, but I understand if you do it anyway. Don’t start drinking. I know from experience that it won’t help. It will only delay the inevitable and not change anything. It will be hard, harder than I can explain…the going on with life without your child. But remember something, you have a lot of support. When you are angry with God, or people who have healthy children, the universe, or whatever, there will be others rooting for you. Hang in there and hold her, rock her, cling to her. I am praying for you.

  14. I am praying for your daughter and you every day. I can not even imagine to begin to understand why your going through, how your feeling.. But my heart aches for you so hard. Aches. Much love and emotional support fir you all….

  15. You are so strong! Your family is in my prayers constantly. Life is precious and your ability to write your thoughts and feeling is amazing.

  16. I want to wrap my arms around you and your family and keep you safe. I am sorry. I don’t know what other words to offer. I read your words and wish that I could do something more. Sending lots of love from across the world and praying for miracles. xoxoox

  17. I loved my children better today, with more kindness, with less caring about the stupid stuff; we had more fun, more joy, more peace, because I was thinking about Jennifer.
    We continue to pray and believe for healing. We serve a mighty God. I don’t know his will, but I beg that it’s your heart’s desire.

  18. :(( heart continues to break. For the ring, can you get a oragami owl locket and fit it in there ? They are pretty deep. I have a cross that I have to wear always. I tried it and it fits in there. They are strong too so stay close. You can add birthstones and stuff.

  19. Sweet Jennifer, I’m so sorry. I think about you and your family every single day. My heart aches… It weeps… I weep. I can’t find the right words to tell you how I feel. I’m just so sorry…

  20. Tonight, I pray that Heavenly Father gives you the answers to your questions; that somehow you feel and recognize those answers and in by doing so you will find peace. That with those answers, your fears can subside enough to let you know what to do and when. I pray that you will continue to have strength (even more, if it’s to possible to be any stronger that you have been). I pray that you will find the strength to stay away from anything that will hurt you even more. I pray that you and Tony will be constantly guided and lifted as you endure the day-to-day challenges. I pray that your fears leave you and are replaced by answers and knowledge. I pray that you, Tony, and Jennifer receive and feel every possible blessing to carry you through this nightmare. And I pray that JLK is painfree. She is an angel, she will always be your angel. She is so perfect she is too good for this world. And I am so terribly sorry for that, Libby. She is an angel and God will have her by His side. I pray that your suffering is somehow eased. I wish with all my heart this wasn’t happening. I love you all.

  21. I am so sorry you are having to go through this pain. Anything I could say seems so shallow in the face of your troubles, but know that so many prayers are rising up for your family right now. May our Lord Jesus Christ and His Holy Mother comfort you at this time.

  22. Oh, Dear Sweet Libby,
    It’s so good that you are sharing your feelings and emotions in such an honest, raw way. Those of us who have never been through losing a child are looking into a small keyhole and seeing a glimpse of your life. As a mother, my heart goes out to you. Those of us who are privileged to have children, know the fierce love you have for Jennifer. There is power in prayer and I am praying for Jennifer and your family daily. But it’s not the prayer so much, but Who we are praying to. I can not explain all of God’s ways to you, when I can’t understand them myself. But, I DO KNOW the God of the universe, because He reveals Himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ. His word says that He holds your tears in a bottle. He does not always give explanations, but he gives His promises to you that are real and trustworthy. He is giving you strength right now beyond your human ability. He will be there when your sweet Jennifer passes from your arms to His. And He will hold you in the palm of His nail-scarred hands. Jesus knows what it’s like to suffer and His thoughts towards you cannot be numbered. God told Moses that His name is “I AM”. God is the God of the past, present and of the future and HE holds it all in His hands. He loves your Jennifer, you and your family with an everlasting love. Jesus said “Peace I give unto you”‘. His supernatural peace that surpasses all human understanding. He wants you to collapse in His arms. I am praying that you will be able to do this, knowing that He will not drop you! You cannot see how you will survive life without Jennifer, but you will, and God will see to it. He promises never to fail you nor forsake you. As you have already figured out, I have a tendency to ramble on! But, I cannot ever “ramble on” about God too much. I just want to encourage you that He is trustworthy. I know you are just trying to “survive” in this place that you don’t want to be in. As Jennifer rests in your arms, Jesus just wants you to rest in His. I am just an ordinary woman, but I believe in an extraordinary God. I do believe He is giving me some words to encourage you and I pray that these words will speak to your heart and give you comfort.
    Caring thoughts and prayers go out to you!

  23. My aunt waited for my mom and her mom to be by her side. My grandmother did it alone in a hospital bed in the wee hours of the morning. My other grandmother had her remaining children there. G’s cousin waited for her sister-cousin to get into town and hold her. I wouldn’t want my family to have the pain of seeing it if it was my time… But I’d try to do what they’d want. When my friend died, his dad caught him and held him just like he caught and held him when he was born.

    Jennifer will have her own way. She may try to protect you or give you the full circle of seeing her first and last breaths. It’s not supposed to be this way. I am so sorry.

  24. I wish I could take all this away. It’s not supposed to be this way. Sweet sweet girl. Praying for peace, comfort and strength for all of you.

  25. Libby, I feel like I don’t know what to say because honestly, what are the right words. There are no right words. Just know that I think of Jennifer everyday. I pray all the time. We are here for you in every way but I know this is a road I cannot walk for you, a load I cannot lesson. But if I can give you even the smallest bit of comfort…
    Much love Kranz family.

  26. I am not sure why your story, words, life, has affected me so much but it has. I check back numerous times per day and re-read your posts as if I’ll find something new that I did not already read. Maybe because I am a mother. Maybe because I lost my father at a young age and witnessed what it did to my grandparents to lose their only child. Maybe because your words and emotions are so raw and I hide mine. I don’t know. But no parent should have to suffer the lose of a child. And no child should have to suffer so much as JLK is suffering. But such is life. My heart breaks for you and for her. I think of you often. When I’m just going about my day, when I wake up, when I go to bed. When I look at my children and thank life for giving them to me and for their health and happiness. I fear the unknown so much and yet you live it. Your strength, courage and love is inspiring and her life, and yours, will not be in vain. I am terrified to see that post from you when a piece of you dies with JLK. I can not fathom your pain and pray that I never will; yet I cry for you and my heart breaks.

  27. 5 words…

    Tony, Jennifer, Jonathan, Nicholas and Charlotte

    that little ring… beautiful …

    You will never break, as you have proved that each and everyday with your love and devotion to your precious girl and family…

    Prayers and love for JLK , We hope for a miracle…

  28. Libby…you are not irrationally upset. About the ring, or anything else. There is no rational for you right now. You are losing your baby, and that is what is irrational. The entire universe as you know it is falling apart and there is no way to make that ok. Every time I think about my son, which is a zillion times a day, I want to tear the universe up. And every time I think about you and Jennifer I want to do the same. IT.IS.NOT.FAIR. A million,billion,zillion thoughts of love and peace being sent your way. I am holding you all in my heart.

  29. Today is Sunday, the Day of Rest. I pray that Jennifer, Libby, Tony, baby Charlotte, and the boys will be at rest, in peace and comfort, in their love for each other, and in the serenity of their faith.

  30. Maybe since that ring is so special you can start wearing it as a necklace to preserve it a little more. Still praying every day. My heart and the heart of our community breaks for you. Xo

  31. My heart aches for you. There is nothing I could say but the pain you are feeling is justified and you should honor it. This is just the worst and I’m beyond sorry and sad for your suffering. Treat yourself with care. xo

  32. We are all here with you. My heart aches every day and I talk about you to so many parents. I hate cancer. It has made it’s rounds through my family and taken too many, but to take a child? For the government to not distribute funds equally? The president has daughters. What if one of them was Jennifer? Would something change then? It’s not fair for a parent to be helplessly watching their babies die. I have 3 boys, 1, 2 and 4 years old. I cry as I pray for your heart…a mother’s heart.

  33. I messaged you the other day about my nephew Dominic who just recently died of DIPG. Once again, I am sorry that you have to go through this as well. It is so painful for the whole family. Origami Owl has lockets big enough to put the ring in. I have an extra locket if you would like me to send it to you. Let me know, I would be happy to send it to you this week. My heart goes out to you and your family. Our prayers are with you during this difficult time.

  34. Hold her tight and comfort her. Let all of us around you fight this fight for you. For her. Your love for her is allowing her to fight. She was given to you because god knew you had the love and strength that she would need during this time.

    I am praying hard for her. Harder than ever.

  35. This is my first time commenting, but I have been reading for awhile now (sent by heather Averech)

    Libby, I can’t even fathom what you and your whole family is going through. We send our thoughts and love.

    I too have a gold ring I can send.

  36. You will be crushed by the loss of your daughter, this much is unavoidable. And I know that not having to be in that position people may see things that you can’t fathom and rightly so. The one thing that stands out to me is that even though your life will be shattered, it is within your power to ensure that your remaining children’s lives can be ok. They are young enough to not remember if you just go through the motions for a while. You have a bit of time to mentally “check out”, not with alcohol, but in a lot of other ways. But eventually I pray that you find it in yourself to rally and for their sakes give them the best of you. Even if you have to fake it to make it, they are precious gifts and you are their mom. Your precious princess Jennifer is all that matters now, and will consume you for the foreseeable future. I truly pray for your whole family that life can go on.

  37. I wish I had the right words. I pray every single day for your family – I am praying for comfort, for angels to surround you all. <3

  38. Sending so much love. I’m a friend of Tara’s, and my heart is shredded. I’m thinking of you every second and praying. I will write for more than 4% of funding for goodness sake. Your little girl will change the world. She will. She will.

  39. Libby- I too have gold or silver you can have to melt down. Email me jlo27916@yahoo.com. If you need anything else I can give or do for you and your family. I live in Sacramento, but I would take a weekend drive there. I am already praying, I have contacted Ellen and also Diane Feinstein. I have sent a little money in the hopes you and tony can be with her every second you can. I share the blog everyday and have been talking about Jennifer to everyone. Our hearts are breaking and while most of us cannot begin to relate, we are all on pins and needles as you are. Praying… Hoping… Wishing this was not happening to such a bright star…

  40. I don’t know you personally but I’m closing my eyes and sending all the love and light and peace I can possibly gather to you and your family. Peace be with you, with your husband and kids, and with dear, sweet Jennifer. May you feel surrounded by love even as you endure this awful heartbreak.

  41. There are no words..Im in tears reading today’s, & everydays post..You are a true Saint and Jennifer is so lucky to have you as her Momma ..My prayers are with you. xox.

  42. All I can say is my heart hurts for you and your family. Jennifer is a princess to all of us and its not fair that she should be going through this. Even more you as a mother should not have to go through this with one of your children. Prayers coming your want and asking God to give you strength and comfort each and every day..

  43. You are in my prayers. JLK is in my prayers. Your family is in my prayers. This surpasses my understanding. But I believe a few things to be true. There is healing in sharing your pain and experience. You have taken away the power of isolation. You have given others the opportunity to support you through this—even those you do not know. Like me.

    The cultivation of a resilient spirit requires letting go of numbing and powerlessness. You’re doing that work. Each minute that you stay present with your JLK and your family is part of that work.

    I ran across this intention today. May it help you when you need it most:

    “This week, I will stay mindful of numbing. I will remember that when I ‘take the edge off’ pain or stress I take away my own joy. We can’t selectively numb emotion, and I want more joy, meaning, and purpose.”

    This is from Brene Brown.

  44. I’m a local mom of two girls. My heart breaks for you and your family. I pray every day that your family can find some peace in this time of need and loss. I have shared your story on FB and with other people in our community. I’m doing my part to spread the word and donate. I am truly thankful for your blogs. Thank you for sharing your life with us. While I personally don’t know you, you have touched my life and how I as a parent. Words cannot express my true gratitude and compassion for your family.

  45. I was afraid to check here today. So I cannot even begin to imagine what life is like for your family.
    The path to parenthood may not have been what you thought it would be when you and your husband first started trying for a family. But it went the way it did because YOU are the best person on this earth to parent Jennifer. YOU are her best advocate. YOU are the best person to help her as she leaves this life and goes in to God’s hands.

  46. Hi Libby, I’ve been praying for your family since I first heard about you family. I just read the blog u linked to this one titled “want”. If u r still looking for a book for kids about Heaven a good one for your family might be “Heaven is for real” the kids edition. It is a real picture of Heaven not just a make-believe one.
    I hope that helps in some small way.
    I will continue praying for you all…

  47. Though I know words can not even begin to take this pain away I pray that all the support & love wrap you in a peace giving you strength to push through every minute through this difficult time.

    ‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
    Isaiah 41:10

    Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God 2 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

    Praying for peace, & Gods strength to uphold you so that you can continue to be her strength. You are amazing & though you may feel the weakest you have in your whole life your true strength radiates to those around you even to strangers like me who have never met you. May God bless you & keep you in peace & his strength. ~Raquel

  48. Words are just not enough.. I sit hear thinking how we take so much for granted and then we are helpless, out of breath like a train wreck.. I want so much to rush right in and hold all of you so close take all the suffering I can from you even if only for a second but this damn screen wont let me through.. I cry for you, each of you.. I pray I hold you so close to my heart it hurts.. I love you very much Libby I am so sorry you are going through this.. HUGS AND PRAYERS FOR ALL OF YOU!!! <3 4 jlk!

  49. Hi Libby,
    I don’t know your full story. But I do know you adopted Jennifer, and I think God made it impossible to have children before her because he needed you to have her. He needed your love for her. As I pray for Gods finger to flick the tumors off of Jennifer, and I watch your blog for good news, or any news I know no matter what he decides you were chosen. Not to lose her but to love her more than anybody in this world can. You and Tony have guided her, and loved her, and taught her so much. I pray she comes back to you, I pray for comfort as well but the biggest miracle would be the tumors disappearing and that’s what I pray for. Everyday, and sometimes all through the day. Please know we are here praying and hoping beyond hope that she will be ok, that you will be OK, that everything will work out. But regardless of what happens we are always here to help out.

    1. For one beautiful angel, she is so young, she does not know of wAr and hate, she only knows the love that she’s had, her only memories are love, your life will surely serve a purpose, your mothers love not gone, or forgotten… Sweet soul you are more brave than all of us, … Sweet dreams little one..

  50. Dear Libby-

    I pray that God surrounds your whole family with a blanket of love and light. I mean that. It hurts like hell. You cannot be ready for it. My father was 69 and completely out of it, and when he passed, I was in shock. There is no rationality. There is no right time. He waited 3 days past the day he should have crossed over, just to see me and my brother. He chose his time, when he knew it was ok to go, that we wanted that for him more than his suffering. But there is no turning back. It sucks, totally. My father lived a full life that he was happy with. He brought 8 children into the world. Jennifer made you a family. I truly believe that she made your other children a reality and loved them into this world and your family. She had a special mission here and got a lot done in a short time, but far too little….compared to what you all dreamed of. I’m so sorry, my dear friend. My heart is broken for you. Maybe you can place the ring into a tiny clear container and make a necklace out of it. To guard it near your heart. I have a locket with my two babies pictures in it. When I miss my little girl more than life itself I wear it and feel like I’m her mom again. A way I trick myself. There are no words, Libby. And I hope somehow I can send you my love and you can feel it.

  51. Your pain radiates off the page I read and i can feel it tangibly. After this message I will go watch my 7 year old daughter sleep. Because of your words-your baby’s battle-I view my children’s existence in an entirely new light. I will stand behind you as you spread the message. There are no words. Just know that a mothers heart recognizes another’s grief-and cries alon beside you. I. Am. So. Sorry.

  52. Praying for JLK and her family. It breaks my heart to read your story.I lost my daughter from DIPG March 18.2013.It is devastating to watch what this disease does to our precious children.We were lucky enough to have our Kylie for 26 months after diagnosis.I do know the pain you are going through.Cherish every moment and find comfort in the good memories.

  53. How I wish I could do anything to spare your family this pain! I can’t wrap my mind around the thought of what you are going through. I am a mother myself. I will pray for your family to have strength and good moments together and for Jennifer not to have pain. She is a beautiful child. You have a beautiful family. God bless you.

  54. There is nothing anyone can say or do to help you through this. But we all try. Try to be there for each other, it’s hard because you will be in such a deep dark hole. I found allowing others to comfort me the hardest, and I had no ability to comfort anyone myself. I think it would have been better if I had allowed people in to help. About the ring, no other ring will do, it has to be that one. Maybe you could find a jeweler who could make you a silver wire heart that you could place the ring in and wear it on a chain close to you always. Try to take it one day at a time, and eventually you will be able to bear it. So very sorry.

  55. I do not know you or your precious family. But I ache for the path you are on and I just see that beautiful little girl in your arms and pray for a miracle. Whatever that miracle is to look like. Can only send you love and wish we could all take a piece of your sadness and carry it away.

    From: Just another mom who has no idea what it must be like.

  56. whenever and wherever the time comes, I pray for peace for all of you – knowing you were the best mom jlk could have had. love, j

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